


don't leave me to bleed

by sporadichearttcollector



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: !!!!, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Neil develops sleep paralysis, Oh!!, also!!, andrew is a good main squeeze, background kevaaron, i wrote it so obvi it has fluff, it is not fun, lola is there for a hot second but she's a hallucination so, neil spends most of the first part panicking rly hard so stay away if you dont like that stuff, soft use of endearments, theyve been together like five years at this point so, twinyards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 14:33:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18593230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sporadichearttcollector/pseuds/sporadichearttcollector
Summary: He is immediately aware of three things, upon waking.He cannot move. Andrew is beside him. There is someone sitting on his chest, with their fingers wrapped around his throat.Neil opens his eyes, and every single part of him wishes he hadn’t.





	don't leave me to bleed

**Author's Note:**

> for ollie, the yee to my haw. thank you for all you do ily.
> 
> this one actually took all of my shitty boring class, an hour of my friends (i was sitting in so she could give me a ride home) and several hours after I got home
> 
> the first bit is a bit intense, neil is Seriously panicking. dont read if that triggers you.

          Neil cannot move.

          He is immediately aware of three things, upon waking.

          He cannot move. Andrew is beside him. There is someone sitting on his chest, with their fingers wrapped around his throat.

          Neil opens his eyes, and every single part of him wishes he hadn’t.

          Lola sits, grinning that knife sharp grin that promises pain, straddling his chest, with her sharp nails digging into his neck.

          Neil screams. Or, really, he _tries_ to scream. Nothing comes out. He tries, desperately, to move, to squirm, to do _anything_ but just lay there as Lola fucking Malcolm chokes him. Neil breathes like he has run a marathon, and his body shakes minutely.

          Neil cannot move, not even to twitch a finger. He lays there for what seems like hours.

          There is movement beside him. _Andrew,_ Neil thinks hysterically. His harsh breathing and shaking must have woken him. Neil waits for the shout, for the knife Neil knows is hidden under Andrew’s pillow to be buried in Lola’s gut, but it never comes.

          Lola keeps grinning as Andrew’s hand slides into his, and his soft voice sounds near Neil’s ear.

          “Neil, wake up, it’s just a nightmare.” Andrew murmurs, his voice thick with sleep. Neil looks at Andrew out of the corner of his eye, and silently begs for help. He blinks rapidly, and tries again to scream. This time, the quietest of whimpers slips through his clenched teeth. “Neil?” Andrew says again, more awake this time, and slides closer, propping himself up on an elbow to peer down at Neil’s panicked face. Neil forces another choked off whimper out and Andrew’s hand presses to the side of Neil’s face, a motion that any other time would have been immensely comforting. Andrew’s own face would appear apathetic to most, but Neil knows how to spot the minuscule crease between his eyebrows, the downward tilt to his lips, and the concern in his eyes.

          Lola releases his throat, pats his cheek in parting, and seemingly passes over Andrew to get off of the bed. Neil’s eyes track her as she saunters to the open door and slips out, throwing back one last knife-sharp grin at him.

          “Sweetheart, what are you looking at?” Andrew asks, rubbing a thumb along Neil’s cheekbone. The endearment slides out with ease, something he only uses when they are alone or Neil is scared. “What do you need?”

          Neil swallows, clenches his fingers, and lets out a wet sob. The ability to move returns to him all at once, and his arms fly out at their own will to clutch at Andrew. He can feel the tears before he even presses his face into Andrew’s neck.

          Andrew, who doesn’t ask anymore questions, just holds Neil while he cries. He can hear muffled noises of confusion from elsewhere in the room, and then right next to the bed.

          “Is he okay?” Kevin 一 Neil thinks 一 asks. “What happened?” Andrew’s voice is soft only in volume, his words like knives.

          “I don’t know,” he hisses. “Go away.” Neil’s fingers tighten in Andrew’s shirt and he sobs harder.

          Lola is still in the suite, he realizes, and starts to scream.

          “The door,” Neil chokes out, “Lock the fucking door before she comes back!” Andrew hisses something to the others and Neil distantly registers the sound of the lock clicking. Neil untangles one hand from Andrew’s shirt only to grab for the knife. “She’ll kill you,” he whimpers. “She’ll kill all of us.”

          Someone starts banging on the door, and Neil is screaming again before he realizes that it is the door to the suite, not to the bedroom.

          “Who?” Andrew asks, gently grabbing Neil’s wrist before sliding his hand upwards to take the knife from Neil’s stiff fingers.

          “Lola,” Neil sobs, and he feels like he is losing his mind. Why hadn’t Andrew already gutted the woman? Why had he let her just slip out of the room? “She was just here, why didn’t you kill her?”

_Who is she going to hurt?_

          The thought hits Neil like a brick to the face, and he is scrambling off of the bed towards the door without hesitation. Andrew’s hands pull him back, ever so carefully, and push him down on the bed, the way he knows makes Neil feel better, more centered.

          “She isn’t here,” Andrew tells him firmly. “Lola Malcolm is rotting in prison a thousand miles away, she is not here.”

          “She was just here,” Neil whispers. How had Andrew not seen her?

          “She was not.” Andrew insists. “You were dreaming.”

          “I was wide awake,” Neil scrabbles uselessly at Andrew’s biceps. “Andrew, she’s was here, _I saw her._ ”

          “You were hallucinating, then,” Andrew says, pressing his palm to Neil’s forehead.

          “Use the back of your hand,” Kevin instructs, his voice saturated in concern, and Neil see’s him walk to the door.

          “No, no, no, Kevin don’t unlock it, she’s-” Neil practically shouts, but Kevin opens it anyway and disappears into the hall. “She’ll kill him.”

          “She is not here,” Andrew says, the hand pressing against Neil’s forehead sliding down to his chin and forcing Neil to look at Andrew. “I was right here, if Lola was in this room I would have killed her. Do you trust me?”

          “Yes,” Neil answers without hesitation.

          “She is not here, she has never been here. If I ever see her again I will stick a knife in her throat,” Andrew promises, and Neil’s panic begins to ebb.

          “Okay,” he whispers.

          Kevin edges back into the room, Matt in tow with worry written all over his face. Andrew slides off of Neil, off of the bed, and grabs the knife out from wherever he had stuffed it to shove it in one of his drawers.

          “Neil, I heard you screaming, what happened?” Matt asks, eyeing Andrew as he takes a few steps forwards. Neil just shakes his head, making grabby hands at Andrew and sniffling hard.

          “Get out, Boyd, you can interrogate him tomorrow.” Andrew doesn’t even look at Matt as he climbs back into bed, letting Neil frantically tuck himself against Andrew’s side as closely as possible and wrap his arms around Andrew’s torso, face pressing against Andrew’s neck as he begins to sob again.

          Neil can’t find it in himself to be embarrassed, simply lays there and cries as Andrew strokes his hair and whispers soft reassurances.

          Eventually, Neil calms enough to speak the words that had been flashing across his mind.

          “It was so real,” he says, voice hoarse from screaming and crying.

          “I know,” Andrew says, his lips brushing gently across Neil’s sweaty forehead. “But it wasn’t. You are safe.”

          “I’m safe,” Neil repeats, his breathing beginning to slow. “I’m safe.”

          Andrew nods, soothing a hand up and down Neil’s back.

          “I’m sorry for waking you,” Neil whispers. “And keeping you up.”

          “I couldn’t help you if I was sleeping,” Andrew reminds him. “Go to sleep.”

          “I don’t want to sleep again, what if it happens again?”

          “I’ll stay awake, I won’t let anything hurt you.” Andrew says. “Ever.” Neil looks at him for a moment but nods, and lets his eyes flutter shut.

          The slow rise and fall of Andrew’s chest beneath Neil’s head rocks him to a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

~

          Andrew walks up behind Aaron silently, making eye contact with Kevin for a moment before looking down at Aaron. Distantly, he thinks he should do this more often, if only for the look on Aaron’s face when he turns around to see his brother looming over him.

          “Andrew,” Aaron says, growing panic distinct in his voice. “What. What are you doing here?”

          “Relax, I’ve known about you and Kevin for months,” he glances at Kevin again, feeling vague amusement at the flush that creeps up his neck but ignoring it in favor of the more important thing in front of him. Andrew pulls out the chair next to Aaron, sitting down and pulling up one leg to rest his head on. “What is it called when someone wakes up suddenly, is unable to move, and hallucinates someone traumatic from their past?”

          Andrew already knows what it is, but wants to hear it from Aaron, who has been memorizing medical textbooks since they were sixteen. Now, at twenty-three, there aren’t many things Aaron can’t diagnose and prescribe the proper treatment.

          “Sleep paralysis,” Aaron says, brow furrowing. “Why, are you okay?”

          “I’m _fine_ ,” Andrew responds, his tone mocking. Aaron nods, understanding dawning on his face.

          “Is that what the screaming was, last night?” Aaron asks, as if Kevin didn’t already fill him in on Neil’s panic filled morning. “Matt was having a hissy fit.”

          “Boyd can fuck off,” Andrew lets his gaze drift off towards the computers, looking for a certain redhead with a sharp tongue. “It was none of his business.”

          “Oh, but it’s mine?” Aaron leans his chin on one hand, tilting his head a bit. Andrew very purposefully glances at Kevin.

          “It will affect his playing if he can’t sleep because of it,” Kevin says quietly, reaching out to gently take Aaron’s hand. “And Neil is your friend.”

          “He is not-” Aaron starts, but cuts himself off. They all knew that would have been a lie. Neil and Aaron had become good friends two years ago when they shared an advanced math class, and bonded over snarky comments about their classmates, and late night pizza roll fueled study sessions.

          “How do I help him?” Andrew asks, voice quiet.

          “Treat pre-existing mental health issues, improve sleeping habits, reduce stress, try not to sleep on your back,” Aaron lists, like Andrew knew he would, and leans back a bit. “Get him to talk to Betsy, she could probably help him more than me reciting things out of a textbook will.”

          “You want me to force him to talk to Bee?” Andrew asks, skepticism creeping into his voice. “In what world would Neil fucking Josten ever consensually see her outside of the mandatory sessions at the start of the season?”

          “When his boyfriend tells him to?” Aaron suggests. Andrew lets out a short, humorless laugh.

          “Right, because that works.” Andrew rolls his eyes, glancing back at the computers again. Neil is tucked into a chair in the back corner, watching some kind of exy video, completely oblivious to Andrew’s presence. “And I’m not his boyfriend,” he tacks on, irritated.

          “Oh, really?” Aaron says dryly. “Then what, pray tell, are you to him?”

          “Long term monogamous hookup,” Andrew answers without hesitation. “Main squeeze, favorite booty call, future husband, the yee to his haw, the beese to his churger, point of interest, homeboy, need I go on?” Aaron snorts, covering his face with one hand for a moment.

          “You are the worst,” Aaron shakes his head. “Ask Betsy yourself then. You can ask her at our session, I don’t care . Or text her, since I know you have her number.”

          “Mhmnn,” Andrew watches Neil exit from his browser, grab his things, and stand, turning around and scanning the room for threats. His eyes catch on Andrew, and his lips pull into a warm smile.

          Andrew's heart most definitely does not speed up at that fucking smile, no sir it does _not._ Neil walks over, stupid smile in place the whole way, and Andrew catches him by a belt loop as soon as he is close enough. He tilts his chin up, silently asking for a kiss, which Neil happily leans down to give.

          Nothing at all like the sobbing mess he had been earlier that morning. Andrew nips at Neil’s lip as he pulls away, and ignores the goofy grin plastered all over Neil’s fucking face. He glances at his brother to find not a look of disgust but of astonishment.

          “Wait, did you say-” Aaron starts but Andrew reaches out and flicks his arm.

          “Yes, I did, shut up. Go back to pretending to study with _your_ boyfriend.” Andrew stands, tugging Neil closer by his belt loop then sliding an arm around his waist. “Are you done here?” He asks Neil, enjoying the way Neil’s cheeks flush and the flicker of a heartbeat on his neck speeds up.

          “Yeah,” Neil says in that breathless way of his that makes Andrew’s jeans tighten. Andrew notes, with quite a bit of satisfaction, that the dorm should be entirely empty right now.

          “Let’s go,” Andrew directs Neil out of the library, throwing a _see you Wednesday_ , over his shoulder at Aaron accompanied by a Look, and doesn’t hesitate to push Neil against the Maserati once they reach the parking lot, breathing out a quick _yes or no?_ And kissing Neil like he’ll die if he doesn’t when Neil gladly gives his consent, hands palming at Neil’s waist. Neil’s hands slide into Andrew’s hair with practiced ease, fingers tangling halfheartedly in the strands.

          They’re tearing at each other’s clothes by the time they get back to the dorm, and barely remember to lock the door before falling into bed.

          Neil is almost late to his six o’clock advanced calculus class.

~

          Neil knows what is happening, this time.

          Andrew spent several hours explaining sleep paralysis to him last week, encouraged him to talk to Bee, and even offered to go with him if it would make him more comfortable.

          He starts on anti-anxiety meds in two days. Apparently, not soon enough. 

          Neil knows the weight on his chest isn’t real, that if he opens his eyes he will see Lola but she won’t really be there because Andrew called just yesterday to make sure she was still in her high security prison and was assured that there was no way she was getting out anytime soon.

          He knows, but it still sends him spiraling into a panic when his eyes slide open against his will and there she is, twirling a knife in front of his lips. Neil breathes hard and fast, trying to scream. He manages a tiny whimper, which is enough because Andrew stirs beside him.

          “Neil?” Andrew whispers, already pushing up on one arm and leaning over to look at him in mild alarm. “Is it happening again?”

          Neil whimpers again. Andrew presses a warm hand to his cheek, moving his body to blanket Neil’s, and brushes his lips over Neil’s forehead.

          “It’s okay, baby, it’s not real,” Andrew murmurs, kissing the burn scars she left on his cheek. “Close your eyes, it will stop soon. I’m here, I won’t let anyone hurt you.” Neil squeezes his eyes shut and focuses on the sweet words Andrew whispers to him. It feels like hours. But he has Andrew, so it will be okay.

          “You’re safe, you’re safe, you’re safe,” Andrew breathes against his temple. “I’m here, I’m never leaving. You’re stuck with me, Josten.” Neil laughs softly, movement returning to him, and wraps his arms around Andrew.

          “I know I am,” Neil whispers, pressing a kiss against Andrew’s chin and breathing deeply. “Future husband of mine.”

          Forever with Andrew sounds pretty good to Neil.

**Author's Note:**

> see you on monday!
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr](http://sporadichearttcollector.tumblr.com/)  
> 


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